I Wish I Didn't Have To Leave

Long time no new song, sorry for the delay, but there is much work to do these days.
I'm still working hard on the Blindflug project, my band Refuge is in the writing process of new songs, I'm about to start the recordings for my new BEW album, and so on...


I Wish I Didn't Have To Leave
(click on title to download mp3)

My sole intention was a single kiss
at midnight New Year's Eve.
Now I'm sitting here and wish
I did not have to leave

Oh I wish I did not have to leave

Your eyes were brighter than the fireworks
out there in the dark.
I hope you're also still thinking 'bout
us kissing in the park.

Oh I wish I did not have to leave

Your lovely smile,
mine for a while,
everything around us blurring.
Your kisses soft,
but so intense,
then the fire started burning.

And I wish I did not have to leave

Now that I am back at home
and you're still in my head.
I think I left a part of me
there lying in your bed.

And I wish I did not have to leave

I wish I did not have to leave
I wish I did not have to leave
I hate it that I had to leave
I hate it that I had to leave


The Story

This song was written shortly after New Year's Eve 2005/2006.
I had a really good time the last three days of 2005. First I was in Meerane in the Bluehouse Studios, where I visited some friends from Antichrisis, who were there for some vocal recordings for their new album. We had a really great evening there, with lots of music and also lots of wine ;)
The next day I travelled on to Leipzig, where I visited one of my best friends. On New Year's Eve there was a party at his flat, where I met this really cute girl. I ended up asking her if she would like to have a kiss at midnight, because you got to have to kiss someone at midnight New Year's Eve ;) Well, she wasn't at all aversed to this idea, and so we spend a really great evening together. The next morning I found myself lying in her bed, she in my arms. Unfortunately I had to drive home this day. I didn't quite get her out of my head the next days, and so I wrote this song. As it turns out, she liked it very much, and we will meet again this weekend. Maybe there will be some further songs, you never know...

Stay tuned!

Come and Break my Heart

Today comes a song which I didn't write the lyrics for. See Story for details.


Come and Break my Heart (Lyrics: Geli Richter)
(click on title to download mp3)

All good feelings - they are gone.
I feel cold like broken ice.
Waking up without the sun,
don't remember what love is like.

There is no place for giving anymore.
Try to find my heart again,
but in the end it's still gone I'm sure,
All I leave behind is pain.

Come and break my heart,
I just need to feel a thing

Still waiting for a second chance.
Getting back what I once lost.
Stand in front of the biggest fence.
Too many people's souls it'd cost.

Why am I not able to care
'bout a man's heart breaking?
Maybe it's just that I don't dare,
this much pain that I have taken.


The Story

This song is something like a co-production ;) The lyrics are written by a very good friend of mine, Geli. The story behind this song is, that one day we were sitting in my appartment, talking about this and that, when I felt like playing the guitar and writing some song. I think every musician can understand this feeling, when you - out of a sudden - get this creative vibes, you just have to let it out. So I said to her: "This would be the perfect time to write a song, but I don't want to bore you." She said "It's ok, just do it" and made me play. When I started to have the first ideas she suddenly took a piece of paper and started writing lyrics. She said that my music gave her the inspiration for the words.
At the moment I am planning to do a trilogy called "Her Words" with these songs. Yet another song already exists and I hope we can have some more of these creative sessions. Maybe one day there will also be a whole album, but this would be way too much in the future, so don't nail me down on this!

Take care!

Thank You For Breaking My Heart

One weekend, two songs. I'm on fire! ;)


Thank You For Breaking My Heart
(click on title to download mp3)

Thank you for breaking my heart,
'cause it needed to be torn apart.
You opened my eyes, made me see
that there's still another way for me to be.

Thank you for breaking my heart,
'cause it needed to be torn apart.
Now it can heal the right way,
not as malformed as it was yesterday.

Even though there's an empty spot
where your head lay on my chest,
there will always be a place
for you in my heart to rest.

I wanna thank you for opening my eyes!
But did you have to break my heart to make me see?
Wasn't there another way?
Another chance it could have been?
Probably not...


The Story

This song is about a paradox rescue. By falling in love with a new girl I realized that I am finally free from my last love. I took the end of the relationship right before very hard. But then I was able to love again, and felt fine. At least until I had to find out, that there was no chance for this love either. Well, you can say 2005 was not such a great year for me...

Bye.

When Neptune's 13 Moons go down in Flames

Long time no update, but I was busy working on an new project called Blindflug. But yet, here comes another demo.


When Neptune's 13 Moons go down in Flames
(click on title to download mp3)

When Neptune's thirteen moons go down in flames
I'll be coming home to lead your soul astray.
I could have been the one to give you back your sight again.
Never could have been more wrong, but only time will tell.

A part of our story's far from over,
I'll still be there, fighting by your side
and even if I'll die trying to help you win this war,
I will guide you from above or maybe from below.

I know you're like a blind man, craving to see again.
I can hear your poor soul screaming out for help.
You may not have heard the battle call
there behind your personal Berlin Wall.
Take my hand, stand up again, it's not the time to crawl.
We are fighting back, we may not fall.


The Story

This song was written sometime around October 2005.
The inspiration for this song was also the girl from last year. Although it turned out to be such a painful time, I am very thankful for meeting her. Nowadays we are still very good friends, and I am glad, that it is the way it is, because as I wrote before, we are kind of soulmates.
At that time (Oct. 2005) I was still thinking, that maybe she is just afraid of daring to start a new love and that there just has to be that certain thing to bring her on the right way. Some of the songs I wrote back then deal with this topic, and this one is a more abstract one, regarding the lyrics. This is also because I saw another musician (Matthew James White, great songwriter) play one of his songs at a local pub, which also had very abstract, pictographic lyrics. So I thought to myself, man, you didn't write such lyrics for a long time, why not finally give it a shot again. The result is this song, which I like very much.

Enjoy!

Another Good Soul Left The Planet [updated]

[update 13-01-2006]: the mp3-file was the wrong version, the right demo is online now.

Ok, slowly but steadily I realize, how this blog-thing works. So today I moved "The One" to its own post. And here already comes the next one (I had some time today, to record this baby a new way...)


Another Good Soul Left The Planet (dedicated to Chris Jones)
(click on title to download mp3)

Another good soul left the planet,
I heard it from a friend today.
Why do the good ones have to go,
while all the bad ones are allowed to stay?

Though I only saw you once,
it hit me like a train,
and with a teardrop in my eye
I am writing down the pain.

May your spirit drift away in peace,
I hope you're in a better place.
Your music touched the hearts of many,
it put a smile on every face.

The music from the stereo
describes my mood on this sad day.
The pub is filled with emptiness
as my heart's filled with dismay.


The Story

This song is from the end of September, 2005. It was a really weird day because on the one hand I was in high spirits, because there was a musical event called "ballad day" to where I was also invited to play. We had a really great time there, but near the end of it, our words turned to singer/songwriter Chris Jones, and a friend of mine told me about his death some days ago. I only saw him playing once, together with Kieran Halpin, but this message killed the day. I cannot tell why it hit me that hard, but when I saw Chris playing the guitar some months ago, I got a great feeling from him, and although I didn't get to know him better, he had such a charisma on stage and appeared to me as such an unbelievably good soul. Later on that day, I had to work in a pub, and strangely nearly nobody came to visit. So I had some time, let the stereo play some really sad music and started to write. I will always keep this man in my heart, even though I only saw him playing once in my life.

Chris, your music will never be forgotten. You touched so many hearts and you definitely will leave a trace down here. I wish, I would have gotten the chance to play with such a great guitarist, as you were one. Rest in Peace, whereever you are.

The One

Today I want to start with a song named "The One".


The One
(click on title to download mp3)

I know that you don't have the faith anymore.
I know that you're afraid to be hurt again.
I know that you wait for the one to come,
but I can't help, for me you are the one

Maybe time will change everything.
Maybe in a year you will be gone and i am too.
Maybe you're still waiting for the one to come,
but I can't help, for me you'll always be the one

One day we will meet again in another place.
One day in my hands again I will hold your face.
One day you may realize, the one has already come,
'cause (baby) I believe together we are one


The Story

I wrote this song in December 2005.
It is about a girl I met last summer. We had a very fun time, and it turned out that we are kind of soulmates. We anticipate each others feelings and wishes in a way much more that just knowing human nature. The bad thing about it was, that I fell deeply in love with her, but unfortunately she didn't have the same feelings. But as I am the king of misinterpretations I still thought, there is hope, and it went on for some months without any change.

As a good friend of mine once wrote in a song

Hope is an everlasting watering can, a bitch and a whore.
Masta Govinda, 2004

I think he is damn right ;)

Well, at least I can say that I wrote some very good songs in that time. Maybe a musician always is unknowingly in search of ways to get hurt, because we all know the most beautiful pieces of art or music emerge out of deep depression. And this one is, seen from my current point of view, the most beautiful love song I ever wrote. Of course I also like all the other songs, but I see this one as something like my masterpiece, also this may mean I will never write such a great love song anymore ;)

When you will know more of my songs in the future you may realize, that this one is not quite typical for me. The inspiration that started the writing was an American sitcom I accidentally watched on the TV. There a guy sang some love song to his beloved on a balcony and the way he sang and played made me have some lyrics in my mind. At that time I still had a bad inflammation within my tendon sheath (OMG, I hope this is correctly verbalized ;) and had to wear a splint around my left arm. So I wasn't really able to play more complicated chords, and that's the reason why this song is so excessively simple. But as I took my guitar the chords and the melody came quite automatically and so there was this song, sputtering with emotion.

That's it for now. Enjoy!

The Beginning [README FIRST]

Hello World! ;)

Yesterday a friend of mine, Sid, told me that he thought it to be a good idea,
to open up a blog. Curiously I listened to him, and finally decided, that it would really be an interesting way to share my thoughts with the world.
Ok, you might say, what the hell do I care about some German guy's thoughts, but this time everything is different...

To give back the interested reader something, I decided to put some links to the
musical demos I create into this blog. This will be something like a musical diary. Demos of songs I write and record, with little stories about why I wrote them and what
they mean.

It's for all people who are interested in free music, or in the songwriting process of music. If you ever wanted to experience the way from writing lyrics and writing music, to recording the first demo version and finally recording the song "properly", you will find this blog interesting.
Also if you are sick of all the soulless crap of music often heard on radio, and you are in search for music with real emotions, that comes right from the heart, not songs some songwriting company produced and made some pretty little girl sing, who may not even now something about the lyrics, then you are at the correct address.

I'm really curious about what will happen here. And last but not least: I am German, so my English will not be all perfect, I would like to apologise for that in advance ;)